Thoughts
by SorryForTheWait
Summary: Katniss contemplates suicide in the cellar of a Victors Village home. She is about to kill herself, when Rue appears to her. Rated T for suicidal thoughts and actions.


**This is my first ever FanFic story, please be nice. If there is something wrong with my grammar... be nice, it's not the end of the world!**

**Setting: Catching Fire, Katniss hides in the cellar of a Victors village house when she finds out that she is going back into the arena.**

**Here it is!**

I had quickly ran out the door of my home leaving behind Peeta, Prim, and everyone else who had seen the Capitol's message with me. I retreaded into the cellar of an empty Victors village home, and locked myself in its cellar.

_How could they do this?_ I thought to myself. _I can't go back in the arena, I just can't! _I removed my coat from my body and balled it up, shoving it my mouth, screaming at the top of my lungs. When I had finally stopped my voice my almost gone. I was cold and stiff, I began to cry realizing all hope was gone for me.

I was going to die in the arena, the very place that my nightmares came from.

_I can't go back in!_ The thought just stuck in my head. _I can't go back in!_ _I can't go back in! _I stood up, tears running down my face. slowly I looked around the cellar, seeing nothing but broken glass. I walked towards it, thoughts running through my head.

_It's all over for you Katniss, you are going to die in the arena! You are a selfish being, end it, just end your life. Save someone the trouble! You are nothing, Katniss Everdeen, and you will never be anything!_

I reached down and picked up the glass. I stared at it for what felt like days until I brought it to my neck. Again the thoughts came to my head, this time their whispers became louder. _Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! Finish it!_

I felt the shard push harder against my neck, I was about to bring it across my neck when I heard the heart stopping voice.

"Katniss" she said. How can she be here... she, she died in the arena? "Katniss" She repeated. I spiraled around dropping the glass. Feeling it break under the pressure of my boots.

There she was. My fragile Rue, standing before me in a silver dress made of silk. Her usual messy hair was straightened, and pulled back into a ponytail behind her head. It was held together by a band of flowers. In fact, they were her flowers. The ones I had covered her with, in the arena. Rue.

"Katniss, it's me" she said reaching out to me. I backed away in response. Hearing more glass shatter under my feet.

"Katniss, it's going to be okay. It is only me, Rue. Don't you remember?" I felt more tears rise up. I was scared and heartbroken at this point, I kept on backing away until felt the cold wall on my back. Balling my head in my knees I fell to the floor. Broken, and wet with tears.

The truth was, I did remember, but what bothered me was I didn't care. But wasn't this all just something of my imagination? Or was this real? Was this Rue's soul talking to me right now? If so, why now? I shook my head, wishing for this all to go away, not daring to look up and see the girl in front of me.

"Katniss?" She asked. I shuddered at the sound. "I know you remember me, and that you _do_ care. Remember, at the Victory tour? Who caused you to thank Thresh's and my family for us? Not Peeta, or Haymitch. But you Katniss, _you_ told yourself to. Not for you, but for me." I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up, seeing Rue stare into my eyes, trying to find the light hidden within the darkness that continues to destroy me from the inside.

"Rue..." I managed before throwing my face into her shoulder. I cried once more, this time for the last. I felt her stroke my hair and whisper encouraging things into my ear.

"You know, Katniss." she paused to lift my head up. "You are the most selfless person I had ever met." I smiled and got up, wiping the tears out of my eyes. I looked at Rue who smiled back then in a flash of light she was gone. The girl I had failed to protect, had come to me in a time of need. I could never compare.

But then and there something inside of me clicked. I had to win this. Not just for me, or Peeta, or even Prim. I have to do this for Rue, the girl who had always wanted me to win. The one who will always support me and be there in my time of need. A girl from district eleven, whose name was simply, Rue.


End file.
